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Submitted by Carol Smith –
I was attending a church, I trusted an elder with some confidential information. I specifically asked him to keep it confidential. He immediately went and told the pastor who shared it with his wife and I have reason to believe “shared” with others.
I asked the elder if he disclosed what I had shared in confidence. He said yes and that he could not understand why I was upset. He could not understand why I was upset!
I emailed the pastor who admitted he was told, and he shared this without my consent. I asked to meet with the board. I was told I could not but had to meet with the elders.
When I brought up the issue of confidentiality, I was told, I was at fault for sharing this with the elder!
I mentioned several times that breaching confidentiality was illegal. Tennessee law 24-1-206. This was ignored and I was told, did not apply to the church.
I had mentioned how this breach of confidentiality was harmful. They said they couldn’t understand how it could be in any way “harmful.”
I mentioned that by breaking confidentiality, a person could be emotionally harmed, possibly commit suicide, leave the faith or sue the church.
I was told, “God is sovereign.”
I was told that I was not allowed to bring accusations against leadership according to 1Timothy 5:19.
I said I had emails and asked the elder to read verse 20. He did not.
I read an email to them sent to me by leadership in which harmful accusations were made against me. I was told, “Well, emails are not the best way to communicate.”
I said I was willing to sit down with leadership to try to work things out. I said, I wanted my question answered concerning gossip in the church.
I was told that I could not ask that question because it was “divisive.” I must submit to the leadership.
When a person uncovers sin in a church, those who want to silence the person, just label them “divisive.”
Sadly, this situation is happening all too often in Bible-believing churches. Issues of confidentiality are broken, people are harmed, reputations ruined, many leave the church, never to return. Churches can be sued, ministries ruined.
The Bible has a term for the breach of confidentiality… it’s gossip!
It destroys an individual’s reputation, and it destroys churches. Many times, the elders act like “yes men” to protect leadership. The whistle-blower is threatened to be excommunicated or told to shut up and submit!
This is when a church takes on cult-like qualities! Sin is swept under the rug, the problem is sin never stays there, the nature of sin is to permeate everything and in time, destroy reputations, individuals and entire congregations! Revelation 2:4-5
One Response
Learned as a child that most “churches” are lucifer’s own, some of the worst people in this evil world.
The 1st indication is that they don’t remember the 4th Commandment that begins with “Remember…”
When they don’t honor God they’re SURE not honorable people. Expecting them to is naïve.