The Difference In Being A Leader Or Just Showing Up…
Image Credit: Image Credit: Jonathan Velasquez / UnSplash
By Thomas Antkow [Special to The Tennessee Conservative] –-
Having spent several years as a local radio talk show host, and filling in for other on-air personalities, I have had the opportunity to interview countless “political leaders” and “politicians”. Also, just plain folks on a mission. The average folks possessed passion. They had a story to tell. Several politicians just wanted to hear themselves on the airwaves.
One of the things that has always fascinated me. Observing the skill set involved in avoiding an answer, to a direct question. It’s mind boggling to say the least. Frustrating. Yes! Revealing? In some ways more than you might think.
With some. The skill appears to be effortless. For others? Not so much. I did find that the real people, and the stories that they brought to the table evoking the most interest, were the individuals able to carry on an adult conversation. Seamlessly. They actually listened to the entire question in the first place. Their words flowed. Then they responded in kind. Time flew by.
Identifying the ones that just showed up for their own personal benefit. I labeled them “seat warmers”. They were like talking to the proverbial wall. I thought that the studio clock had frozen. My producer. Seeing that pleading look in my eyes. Just giggled with glee!
The key to the real community leaders was. They LISTENED before responding. The “warmers” recited an answer without actually LISTENING. In their daily political lives when it really counted, they became part of the popular flock. They never quite got the concept that actions spoke louder than words. They wished to blend in and not stand out. Not take the lead. Just enjoy the flavor of the day.
The art of enduring an individual or group that just showed up, took an incredible amount of patience. It made my job and a 15-minute block of time seem endless. I observed that when “guests” had attended their party’s political “boot camp” they must have been drilled on the tactic of “search and destroy”. “Search” for the key words and “destroy” the conversation by inserting their commanding officers talking points.
A true leaders’ intention. To honestly and directly fulfill their personal missions. Through sincerity. Relate personal stories that evoked interest and emotion that led to the greater good. Their end game was genuine.
As a host I had to learn, through great embarrassment, and guidance from my wife, as well as with gentle prodding from my friends, to adopt the almost impossible task of listening to my guests rather than just wishing to hear myself speak. The most beneficial lesson that I acquired and has enabled me to move forward toward success. Watch and listen carefully. I could read more about people, by observing their behavior and listening when they spoke. Then, I was able to separate ego from sincerity. That effort is never ending.
Whoever coined the following phrase. “God gave you two eyes, two ears and just one mouth”. Translated to mean. You should “look and listen twice as much as you speak”, should receive a lifetime achievement award. May God Bless You. Whoever you are. Some say that it may be Biblical. However. (I believe that it was Epictetus a Greek Philosopher). Ah! The glories of show prep still haunt me.
About the Author: THOMAS ANTKOW is currently a freelance writer and produced and hosted his own daily radio show on KCSF AM 1300 and co-hosted talk shows for KVOR AM 740 for Cumulus Broadcasting in Colorado Springs. He can be reached at taradio863@gmail.com. You can subscribe and follow Tom Antkow’s free newsletter at: “antkow.substack.com”.
